Minding your Memorial

Q A friend said she wants no one wearing black at her funeral. Is it realistic to direct one’s own funeral?


A Short Answer:  Why not? You won’t be there to know if anyone follows your direction, but why not try to make a memorial something meaningful to the deceased Memorial Day each May asks Americans to pause and remember those who’ve died in service to the USA. There is even a law suggesting how to do that:

The “National Moment of Remembrance” resolution was passed on Dec 2000 which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans “To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to ‘Taps.”



More In-Depth Look
Most mature adults have given some thought to their end-of-life wishes, but what about after life? We don’t mean that in the metaphysical or spiritual sense, we mean it quite literally. Do you want to be buried or cremated? Do you want to donate your body to science? Perhaps you’ve already made some arrangements. How about a memorial service? Do you want mourners to make a donation in your name? Or wear bright pink to your graveside service? Maybe you want your ashes (called cremains) scattered at sea, or at the mall, or made into jewelry.


Some Thoughts to Ponder on this Subject.
The Federal Trade Commission offers a publication called Plan Your Own Funeral that helps you be a wise consumer of pre-arrangement plans, costs and options.

A group called Dying Matters has a booklet available called My Funeral Wishes that helps you guide your mourners on what music, photos, etc. you might want them to share.

Some people say they don’t want any funeral service, but before you etch that in stone, think about what a memorial event would mean to those you leave behind. Don’t deny your family a chance to grieve and to share memories. Through your mindful planning, you can guide them
through a painful phase. That is a final gift that could prove invaluable.

Email our social workers for a free 5 Wishes Planning brochure: